There's a lot to like in "Dark Match," at least conceptually: Issa makes for a capable, fun lead, and the supporting performances from Ogg and Michael Eklund (as the team's weaselly promoter) carry a lot of the film's scrappy energy. The matches themselves are bloody fun, living somewhere between "GLOW" and "Saw" as the ring gets modified with flamethrowers, broken glass, and giant blowing fans that can trap and eviscerate each contender. But there's a feeling that Dean and co aren't going hard enough on the craziness; there's a groundedness to the suspense that makes it feel more like "Green Room" than something more ostentatious like the premise and '80s trappings require. Jericho makes for a mighty presence when he's on screen, but he's mostly sidelined until the end, which is a shame considering the marquee name he brings. That's probably a consequence of the stacked cast; the opening throws a lot of names and characters at you, but the match-by-match structure means character conflicts and beats often get pushed to the wayside or resolved far too early. (Still, there's a fun gag including one of Behave's compatriots, a luchador-like wrestler who's taken a vow of silence, that approaches the kind of silliness this should have worked towards.) Dean puts forth a game effort, but "Dark Match" doesn't quite earn its championship belt.
Still, we're not done with Steven Ogg, as our number two (heh) entry in his Fantasia double-bill, "Scared Shitless," brings us squicky, shitty Joe Dante creature-feature energy. Ogg plays Don, a down-on-his-luck plumber living with his layabout son Sonny (Daniel Doheny), whose mother recently passed of a stomach bug, turning the boy into an anxiety-ridden germaphobe. To shake Sonny out of his hypochondriac funk, Don decides to drag his boy along to his newest call: a plumbing problem in a remote apartment complex. Bad night for this kind of test, though, as the building is plagued by Don's most pernicious porcelain problem yet: a genetically-modified creature secreted home by Dr. Robert (Mark McKinney, "The Kids in the Hall"). It's now on the loose and out for blood, hiding in the pipes and ready to execute some disem-bowel movements on every unsuspecting tenant.
To its credit, "Scared Shitless" is exceedingly lean at a cool 76 minutes; with its clean if unremarkable cinematography and unassuming low-budget charm, it's a future Tubi Original in the making. Director Vivieno Caldinelli makes great use of Brandon Cohen's leakproof script, giving us just enough setup of the characters and situation (Julian Richings makes a suitably oily appearance in the cold open) to get down to the bloodletting with little fuss. The victims don't get much to do before they're dispatched, really, but who cares? What little screentime they get is filled with fun gags like an older couple whose freaks definitely match (complete with the husband drawing "SLUT" in lipstick over his chest for date night) and another victim who gets pulled halfway down the commode headfirst. (The creature effects, courtesy of Canadian VFX legend Steven Kostanski, are stellar, though the design leaves a little to be desired -- it's mostly just a toothy tentacle reminiscent of a million '80s horror creatures of the apst.)
Ogg and Doheny have enviable father-son chemistry, Ogg in particular bringing his signature underbite intensity to his love and passion for toilet maintenance. However, Doheny struggles to keep the same energy with concierge Patricia (Chelsea Clark), who becomes an erstwhile companion/love interest in the latter half. Even so, the "Gremlins" energy abounds in this one, making for a sprightly, splattery romp you won't have to flush twice.
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Roger Ebert-2024-08-01 06:25:24